GUIDELINES FOR UNDERSTANDING YOUR CLIENT’S BEHAVIOUR.
When you next meet with one of your clients, really observe that individual’s style by virtue of their physical and verbal behaviours. Notice how they talk – is their voice monotone or inflected? Do they walk ramrod straight or do they saunter along casually? Are their movements fast or slow? Do they seem to carry a hard-drive worth of facts in their heads or do you wonder from their dramatic actions, if they should have been on Broadway? All these little things tell you something about what to expect from them.
Psychologists have come up with a variety of concepts to help us explain and understand behaviour. Unfortunately, they haven’t always arrived at the same conclusions, but they have been able to agree that there are two primary dimensions to human behaviour, both of which are observable and measurable as you may closely watch and listen to your partners. In the 1960’s, Dr. David Merrill discovered that two clusters of behaviour – "assertiveness" and "responsiveness" – are extremely helpful in determining how individuals are likely to behave. (Since the 1960’s many of the leading accounting and consulting firms have taught Dr. Merrill’s techniques for enhancing interpersonal skills in order to improve the client relations and practice management capabilities of their professionals.)
In its most practical form, an individual’s level of assertiveness (not aggressiveness, which is very different) is the degree to which that individual is seen by others as being forceful or directive. Quite simply, across a broad continuum, there are those at one end who "tell" and those at the other end who "ask."
Your more assertive "tell" clients will often speak louder, more rapidly, and more often. They will exert pressure for a decision, for taking action, and are pointed in expressing opinions, making requests, and giving directions. They are slightly more risk-oriented and often more confrontational. Meanwhile, those of your clients who are less assertive (absolutely no value judgment implied) will tend to ask questions, are more submissive in their expressions and posture, speak more softly, have less intense eye contact, and want to study a situation before making any decision. These clients may be seen to ask a good number of questions either to gauge how others view the situation or to collect as much information as is available.
The other way to measure behaviour is by observing responsiveness. With responsiveness, you are looking for how your client expresses himself or herself and how they react. There are those of your clients who are more reserved, who "control" their emotions; and those who "emote" or seem to "let it all hang out." There are times when they might choose to mute their expression of feelings, but their most natural style around you and others in the practice is generally more emotionally demonstrative.
The sort of behaviour you will see and hear when you are with a more responsive client (one who emotes) is an individual who appears friendly, is facially expressive (smiles, nods, frowns), and uses hand gestures freely. This individual will easily engage in small talk, share personal feelings, recite anecdotes and stories, and is less structured in their concern for time.
Alternatively, your more reserved and less responsive clients will often appear poker-faced such that you are never quite sure whether they are in agreement with what you, or others in the group, might be saying. You will find these clients vigilant, preoccupied, wanting to get the job done with a deliberate systematic approach that is always needing facts and details with limited time "to visit." As the coach you may think that these clients simply lack feelings. However, these clients may experience strong feelings. They are just less likely to display them.
Dr. Merrill (and others subsequent research) tells us that the behavioural habit patterns related to these two dimensions are deeply ingrained by the time we reach adulthood. What this means is that, for example, while it is possible to increase or decrease one’s assertiveness or emotional expressiveness given a particular situation or circumstance, we can only maintain that increase or decrease for a relatively short period of time.
1. Your "Driver" Clients
In the upper right quadrant, we have those of your clients who are perceived as being control-responsive and tell-assertive. This client is most comfortable when he or she is in control of themselves, the work environment, and their client transactions. These clients want quick action, tangible results, and pride themselves on their bottom-line orientation. They speak in forceful tones and are far more comfortable with verbal, rather than written communications.
Decisiveness is a salient characteristic of these partners. They perk up when competing and appear to thrive within a pressure-cooker schedule. This client will squeeze you into their calendar and let you know that their time is limited. This client may give in to impatience and rely on educated guesses or hunches rather than facts. You can expect them to be more likely to change their mind such that others are surprised by the abrupt changes in thinking and the sudden shifts of direction. In this client’s mind, the situation has changed and so too must the response.
It is not unusual for this client to call you and without saying hello, launch directly into the conversation. This individuals quite naturally wants to direct any conversation toward important tasks and goals; "I think we will implement this tomorrow" or "I think this discussion is over." Combine their no-frills conversational style with rapid delivery, a leaning-in posture, forceful gestures, and eye contact that may seem piercing and you have a client that is likely to intimidate the less assertive members of the practice.
Your Driver client can accomplish a tremendous amount in a short time. However, if others feel bull-dozed or depersonalized, there is a danger that the progress will be more illusory than real. Others lack of buy-in or outright resistance may delay or even sabotage the outcome. When you observe the forceful nature of this client you may be tempted to assume a lack of caring about people. This client may have a sincere concern for others but just does not talk about it, nor does their body language reveal the depth of concern. This client is a doer and their feelings are channeled into the language of action.
This client is known for being well organized, can usually be found in their office, and the door is probably closed. Their offices may display a functional décor with charts, graphs, credentials, and firm related pictures, but everything is orderly and in its appropriate place.
Perceived as an individual of few words, this client tends to ask pertinent questions, rather than make statements. This client tends to be formal and proper, always likes to know where he or she is going, prefers written communications, may proceed carefully when taking the next step, and enjoys working with complex situations. They are often seen to place a higher priority on the task to be accomplished, than on the relationship. They strive for accuracy and expect it in others. They have perfectionist tendencies, set high standards, are often hard on themselves, but willing to do the time-consuming work needed to achieve or exceed those standards.
These are not contact people, preferring to work alone rather than with others. They also prefer formal, businesslike relationships; and may not volunteer much about their personal lives. Despite their solitary nature, they surprise you by being loyal when the going gets rough.
They favour brief, to-the-point telephone calls, are inclined to speak in structured, careful speech patterns, almost weighing their words as they say them. Your Analytical partners will typically retain their ground in stressful situations when they can maintain their position with concrete facts or reverse-control questions. This client will try to avoid the emotionality related to conflict. When others get carried away by emotion, this partner will retreat into his or her head and become emotionally detached, assuming a rational approach will cool an overheated situation. It often has the opposite effect.
3. Your Amiable Clients
The quadrant on the lower left describes those clients who are ask-assertive and emote-responsive. This client’s behaviour may suggest little desire to impose their actions and ideas on the group, preferring instead to reserving opinions. These clients project sensitivity to other’s feelings, exhibit great patience, and believe it important that they take time to establish relationships.
To a greater degree than others, they are team players enhanced by their generosity with their time, eager to ask questions they hope will get to the core of the matter, and use relationships to achieve results. This client is skilled at encouraging others to expand on their ideas, good at seeing value in other’s contributions and genuinely more interested in hearing your concerns than expressing their own. When you enter this client’s office you are likely to see group photos, an abundance of family pictures and mementos, and even conservatively framed personal slogans. This client will favor arranging their office seating such that they can sit side-by-side with you in a congenial, cooperative manner. They walk casually, acknowledging others and sometimes get side tracked in the hallways by chance encounters. This client will express a sincere interest in the point-by-point description of what you did yesterday or the sequential pattern of how to complete a certain transaction. They like to approach their work in a methodical and sequential in-out order. They are not enamored with goal setting or planning.
This client prefers more personal interactions, rather than communicating by telephone or memos. They typically express themselves tentatively, defer to the proven way things have always been done, often defer decisions, and feel more comfort making decisions by conferring with others, rather than by themselves. In conversation, this client will reveal personal things about themselves that may have you thinking you know them better than others. Often, however, they are surprisingly guarded. They do not communicate many of the thoughts and feelings that are important to them. This client will withhold feelings of anger and critical judgment of others. Your Amiable clients can seem calm on the outside while a storm rages within.
You know when you have entered the working area of these people. This client may strew paperwork across their desks – or even trail it along the floor. They react to visual stimuli, so they like to have everything where they can see it. Consequently their desks are often cluttered. You may see notes posted and taped all over with little apparent thought, but they are apt to tell you that they are organized within their disorganization.
This client has a naturally preference for talking, often tending to "think out loud," skipping from topic-to–topic in a way that defies logic. They are often seen to monopolize discussions and when they talk their whole body joins in. Their varied, emotional vocal inflections and their colorful choice of words may tend toward exaggeration. The telephone can be a favorite toy that enables them to prolong conversations (often with personal stories and anecdotes) and recharge themselves.
This client is the most outgoing, flamboyant, tending toward the dramatic, and enjoys the spotlight - they like glitter, glamour, flash, and excitement. They bristle with energy and are always on the go, enjoy being where the action is, and hate being confined to their desks all day. They prefer to work with others, are great at networking with innumerable contacts who can help them achieve their goals.
In group meetings these clients will continually shift about in their chairs; and if bored, will engage in a side conversation. They will look for ways to make the group’s work more enjoyable. They tend to be highly creative, visionary, and relish examining the "big-picture" rather than getting mired in the details. They push others to look beyond the merely mundane and practical.
When you and the others are hard at work with the nitty-gritty of building the castles that your Expressive client has dreamed up and sold you on, you may find that this client is not working along with you – he or she is off dreaming of other castles. These clients are impulsive and have a tendency to act first and think later. Their mantra is: "First I dive into the pool and then I look to see if there is any water in it." This impulsiveness can often create problems for them and for others. They prefer to work according to opportunity rather than according to plan. Few are good at time management. And while they are usually good motivators when emotionally high, more than any other style they can often find themselves in the pits.
Don’t allow your initial perceptions to be cast in stone. Continue to absorb new information about this individual’s assertiveness and responsiveness. Check your hypothesis against specific clues about the style you think this partner exudes. Then test your hypothesis in action. You can do that by reflecting the same characteristics as you believe are characteristic of your client’s style. If by doing that, you find it makes it easier for your client to relate to you, you have probably made an accurate assessment of your client’s style.
Most professionals who are introduced to this concept for working with people find that it helps them better understand important dynamics of most of their relationships. Keep in mind the central point to all of this: No one style is better or worse than any other style - just different. It is in understanding these differences that will help you get the results in your practice.
(Adapted from an article by P. J. McKenna).
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