“I’d really love to take six months’ sabbatical and travel, but my boss would never agree to it.”
“I need to buy a bigger house so my family will be more comfortable, but I’ll never find anything in my price range.”
“I’ve always wanted to do a parachute jump, but I know I’ll be too afraid to even get on the plane. Anyway, it’s far too expensive.”
Do you ever think like this? Do you talk yourself out of something you really want, before you even give your dream or desire a chance?
We sometimes make excuses – hundreds of them – to explain why we can’t possibly have the lifestyle, career, or partner we want. And the end result is always the same. We stop short of pursuing that goal or dream, so we prevent ourselves from living life to the maximum and experiencing true fulfillment.
In today’s world of 24-hour TV, 24-hour shopping, and immediate access to every corner of the globe through the Internet, there’s little time – and little incentive – to notice what’s happening in our own minds. We seek other people’s opinions, guidance, and reassurance, but we rarely turn inward and look for those qualities within ourselves.
As a result, we don’t learn to trust ourselves or our judgment. We no longer recognize our instinctive feelings, and we certainly wouldn’t risk acting on them. And because we don’t pay attention to what’s going on in our own heads, we haven’t noticed that our thoughts naturally tend to be negative. For some reason, all but a lucky few people seem to choose a negative reaction first, and then live their lives accordingly.
The good news is that, if we take a few moments to really think about “how” we think, we can change those thoughts – and then change our reactions. And from there, we can change our lives for the better. Each of us has an inner world that we need to acknowledge and then control – because this control leads to a greater sense of our own capabilities and a better understanding of where we may have limited ourselves in the past.
So how do you know your boss won’t give you a sabbatical? Until he says no, it’s always a possibility.
Are you REALLY sure there are no suitable houses in your price range? Have you considered some compromises – for example, renovating a house or building an extension?
And about that parachute jump… If you were strapped to an instructor for a tandem jump, it would be hard to resist!
Do you see that as soon as you refuse to accept the initial negative reaction, opportunities suddenly open up – and what you once considered impossible can instead become possible?
You need to find the evidence to prove that it is possible to do what you want to do, it will be there even if you have to compromise slightly to achieve your dream.
Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.
– Michael Jordan, basketball player
The following exercise has three simple steps to take control of your thoughts. Practice these daily, and you can almost guarantee that your life will soon be different – and better!
Your limits are defined by the agreement you’ve made about what is possible. Change that agreement and you can dissolve all limits.
– Dr. Wayne Dyer (internationally renowned self-development author and speaker)
1. Pay Attention to Your Thoughts
You have thousands of thoughts daily, but I’ll bet you pay attention to only a select few. I’m also sure that those select few thoughts keep reappearing, but they mostly have a negative quality to them. Am I right?
Notice which thoughts you CHOOSE to focus on. Do they help you feel better or worse? Do they move you toward what you want – or take you further away from it?
The more observant and watchful you are about your thoughts, the more you’ll notice where you may be hurting rather than helping yourself.
2. Separate Yourself from Your Thoughts
Very often, you assume that you have no control over your thoughts. You may believe that your thoughts control you. The truth, however, is that you control them. The thoughts don’t need to dictate how you feel, how your day will develop, or how you’ll react to a certain person or situation – if you don’t want them to.
So, separate yourself from your thoughts, and take responsibility for your life and for your reactions and emotions.
3. Take Control of Your Thoughts
Pay attention to what you think, notice what the probable outcome of such continual thoughts will be, and accept that it doesn’t have to be like that. By doing so, you can make a conscious effort to CHOOSE to think only those thoughts that will be beneficial, productive, and positive to you in your life.
You can CHOOSE to focus on the good and the lovely, or you can CHOOSE to keep thinking about discouraging and negative things. It’s all about CHOICE, but only one choice will bring you a greater sense of achievement and peace of mind.
Your thoughts create the life you experience – your reality. You listen to them all day long. Would you choose to spend day after day listening to a critical, rude friend who just makes you feel bad? Of course not. But many of us do just that, without even being aware of it, by letting our negative thoughts take over.
So today, become aware – and decide to be your own best friend. Master your thoughts, rather than letting them master you, and notice how much better you feel!
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